Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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