Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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