Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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