Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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