Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
