Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
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You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
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He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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