His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
