we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The adults are the big ones right?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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