If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
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i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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