oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
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Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
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Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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