Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
