p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm like, not good at living.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
