I bet he comes in French.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I need a beard to bite.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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