we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
