Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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