Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.

  (1-510): View more from California

  It was probably Jesus.

  (510): View more from California

  I feel like he would have left a message.

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  (510): I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number. (1-510): It was probably Jesus. (510): I feel like he would have left a message. http://tfl.nu/w24x
  Replies (36) Good night (4428) Bad night (743)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm fucking your sister right now.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  You motherfucker

  (813): View more from Florida

  She's next.

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  (813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. http://tfl.nu/gaup
  Replies (153) Good night (66374) Bad night (3773)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  From behind she looks like Richard Simmons

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  (608): From behind she looks like Richard Simmons http://tfl.nu/z6dn
  Replies (7) Good night (547) Bad night (3251)
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  (818): View more from California

  So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice

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  (818): So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice http://tfl.nu/dh5p
  Replies (94) Good night (9025) Bad night (856)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...

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  (773): omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this... http://tfl.nu/ilg0
  Replies (42) Good night (1011) Bad night (6445)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.

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  (727): It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics. http://tfl.nu/z8vb
  Replies (6) Good night (817) Bad night (4212)
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  (516): View more from New York

  the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.

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  (516): the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother. http://tfl.nu/cizt
  Replies (24) Good night (1331) Bad night (7219)
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  (707): View more from California

  I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor

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  (707): I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/hlsl
  Replies (11) Good night (4599) Bad night (938)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.

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  (845): Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer. http://tfl.nu/vrnz
  Replies (4) Good night (1791) Bad night (755)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  That bitch ruined vodka saturday

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  (651): That bitch ruined vodka saturday http://tfl.nu/2db3
  Replies (6) Good night (686) Bad night (1854)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.

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  (604): The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this. http://tfl.nu/0j6r
  Replies (8) Good night (1728) Bad night (527)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.

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  (201): I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world. (540): I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him. http://tfl.nu/0ulc
  Replies (6) Good night (694) Bad night (1654)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid

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  (715): if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid http://tfl.nu/otel
  Replies (8) Good night (1080) Bad night (1137)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.

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  (757): he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore. http://tfl.nu/szvz
  Replies (7) Good night (781) Bad night (2450)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.

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  (815): Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on. http://tfl.nu/1k0i
  Replies (1) Good night (484) Bad night (206)

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