I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
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I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
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I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.