Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.