dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I think i peed on brittanys purse
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
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bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
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Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.