Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Heaven soaked bacon.

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  (818): i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like. (615): Heaven soaked bacon. http://tfl.nu/85uv
  Replies (63) Good night (4228) Bad night (968)
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  (949): View more from California

  Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.

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  (949): Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier. http://tfl.nu/b8lx
  Replies (22) Good night (1048) Bad night (2445)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.

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  (541): we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off. http://tfl.nu/ziys
  Replies (69) Good night (1505) Bad night (5561)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.

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  (419): Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name. http://tfl.nu/pkap
  Replies (6) Good night (3751) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.

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  (484): Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/6dfu
  Replies (25) Good night (7415) Bad night (1258)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.

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  (734): Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success. http://tfl.nu/ji3r
  Replies (10) Good night (1987) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents

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  (814): the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents http://tfl.nu/oebu
  Replies (3) Good night (2027) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.

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  (908): Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more. http://tfl.nu/qarz
  Replies (6) Good night (592) Bad night (1422)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight

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  (251): when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight http://tfl.nu/vlsg
  Replies (14) Good night (1168) Bad night (2460)
• Favorite

  (+46): View more from Sweden

  Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.

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  (+46): Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely. http://tfl.nu/r3zz
  Replies (1) Good night (800) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.

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  (716): If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship. http://tfl.nu/4ap0
  Replies (5) Good night (953) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Drugs are gluten free tho, right?

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  (508): Drugs are gluten free tho, right? http://tfl.nu/186e
  Replies (5) Good night (752) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.

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  (262): I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity. (224): That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard. http://tfl.nu/buw1
  Replies (3) Good night (839) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...

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  (207): My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more... http://tfl.nu/0kwn
  Replies (4) Good night (269) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground

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  (289): I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground http://tfl.nu/ybdg
  Replies (1) Good night (431) Bad night (366)

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