Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night