I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
