I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
