just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
