God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
