i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
