"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
