btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
