we made out on top of his cat.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
