We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
