But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
