I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize