Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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