She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
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im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
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I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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