her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
