stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize