I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
