Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
