think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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