I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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