im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
