we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
