Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
