these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
