you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
