The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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