Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
