I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize