I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
no you cant smoke seaweed
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize