Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize