Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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