are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
