I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
