I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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