Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
