wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
