Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
