I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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