Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just forgot I was standing up.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
