doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize