It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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