i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
